Most people who have ever spent a significant amount of time in an office environment of any size realize the importance of an office manager. Need office supplies? Ask the office manager. Need to make some accounts receivable calls? Yup, that’s the office manager, too. Made up an excuse to not come to work? Call the office manager. Really, this person is in an intricate cog in the gears of the apparatus we call an office.
Our office is a bit different in many regards, but most of all because our office manager is a pig. Not the eats-too-much and lacks-any-real-commitment-to-personal-hygiene type of pig, but rather an actual pig of the pot-bellied variety. All in all, she is not a very productive employee, unless the order of the day includes rooting for plant bulbs or squealing and oinking at unnecessarily loud levels, but we love her nonetheless.
Here a few quick facts about Lola for the concerned public:
-She hates men with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns.
- While once morbidly obese, thanks to a diet of healthy pig pellets, hard boiled eggs and fresh vegetables, she has trimmed down so a svelte 152 lbs.
- Favorite activities include eating books, fenceposts, grass, and the occasional pig snacks.
- Loves posing for photos (such a ham).
That is the low-down on Lola the office manager. While it’s been a while since we’ve cut her a paycheck, she hasn’t seemed to notice. She never cashed the ones we gave her to start with, so we figured maybe she is a member of Americorp or the 4H Club, and is volunteering for college credits. We’re still not sure on that one.