Fresh milk milk

Have you ever wondered where we got our name? Check out this article on TheStreet.com for a bit of explanation, plus some other pretty awesome company names.

TheStreet.com article

K Swiss is making moves, they just acquired FORM Athletics and are set to open a new office in Orange County, CA. Not only that, they are working with Kenny Powers and have just put out a series of videos that are so hilarious and out of control...they have some serious cojones. Enjoy.

Writer Ray Bradbury has been a lifelong favorite of mine. He’s a legend, an American treasure, a literary giant who has so succinctly captured humanity’s fascination with what science and invention and the tenacity of man – for good or for ill – can bring about. Generally recognized as a master of science fiction, he prefers to consider his works as more in the fantasy genre. Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Gothic, Mystery -- whatever categories these stories might be put in, they've weathered 60+ years and weathered them extremely well. Beloved titles include Fahrenheit 451, The Illustrated Man, Something Wicked This Way Comes, The Martian Chronicles. . .

I just re-read The Martian Chronicles and was struck anew by how wonderfully Bradbury constructs his sentences, and how his prose swirls around in your brain and mouth so pleasingly. The worlds and people he has concocted are sometimes splendid and strange and enigmatic, and sometimes incredibly ordinary and small, but all are unique and flawed and heartbreaking and wonderful. The Martian Chronicles was published in 1950 and is a short story collection arranged as an episodic novel, focusing on the ancient and dusty planet of Mars and its colonization by Earthmen. I’ll say no more, except that, as many times before, I was unable to put it down, hailing the familiar tales as old friends I have failed to visit with for far too long. Well, I suppose I will say in addition that if you haven’t read this book (it’s a quick read), you ought to run out right now and pick up a copy. Stat.

Excerpt from the story “Usher II” from The Martian Chronicles:

Full grown without memory, the robots waited. In green silks the color of forest pools, in silks the color of frog and fern, they waited. In yellow hair the color of the sun and sand, the robots waited. Oiled, with tube bones cut from bronze and sunk in gelatin, the robots lay. In coffins for the not dead and not alive, in planked boxes, the metronomes waited to be set in motion. There was a smell of lubrication and lathed brass. There was a silence of the tome yard. Sexed but sexless, the robots. Named but unnamed, and borrowing from humans everything but humanity, the robots stared at the nailed lids of their labeled F.O.B. boxes, in a death that was not even a death, for there had never been a life. And now there was a vast screaming of yanked nails. Now there was a lifting of lids. Now there were shadows on the boxes and the pressure of a hand squirting oil from a can. Now one clock was set in motion, a faint ticking. Now another and another, until this was an immense clock shop, purring. The marble eyes rolled wide their rubber lids. The nostrils winked. The robots, clothed in hair of ape and white of rabbit, arose: Tweedledum following Tweedledee, Mock-Turtle, Dormouse, drowned bodies from the sea compounded of salt and whiteweed, swaying; hanging blue-throated men with turned-up, clam-flesh eyes, and creatures of ice and burning tinsel, loam-dwarfs and pepper-elves, Tik-tok, Ruggedo, St. Nicholas with a self-made snow flurry blowing on before him, Bluebeard with whiskers like acetylene flame, and sulphur clouds from which green fire snouts protruded, and, in scaly and gigantic serpentine, a dragon with a furnace in its belly reeled out the door with a scream, a tick, a bellow, a silence, a rush, a wind. Ten thousand lids fell back. The clock shop moved out into Usher. The night was enchanted.

- Ray Bradbury. 1950.

Saturday marked the arrival of Herman – a new friend for Lola the pig. Oh, and what a wonderful man he is! He has a cute little underbite, big pink ears, a broad warthog-like snout, and sometimes he looks like an adorable troll.

Hermdorable

He has already been given several nicknames, including: The Herm-inator. Herm-avore. Herma-geddon (of course, that goes well with Lola-calypse).

Pigaloupe

Herman has a deep baritone voice and has a lot to say. He walks right up to you (or any new person he meets) talking all the way and wagging his tail. If you put your face down to his, he’ll stick his snout right up against your nose while he keeps talking to you. He’s unusually friendly and cuddly for a pig - they can be standoffish, finicky and downright bitchy. Herman will quickly cuddle up to you and just plop right down, roll to his side and expose his belly. The sad part is that he doesn’t have much of a belly.

Cheerio Hunter

Herman is a 6-year-old rescue and has been severely malnourished: He was fed only 2 apples a day since he was a piglet. He is only 70 lbs and should be about 120 lbs. His ears and snout are a bit too big for his body, as his growth has been stunted. When he was found, his tusks had never been trimmed, and were so long that they wrapped around almost back into his face. His head leans to the left a bit and his body seems to go left altogether, indicating that he may have had a stroke (or has scoliosis). His bones are brittle and he is calcium deprived, though the vet says his heart is strong and his teeth look good. His little thighs are very thin, he has no butt, and his back legs are incredibly weak. His living conditions were also dismal, but you don’t want to hear about that.

For the last three weeks, Herman has been getting good nutrition and he is a happy man. He gets two meals a day, with pig pellets (specially formulated for pot bellied pigs), eggs, cottage cheese, fish oil, multi-vitamins, and veggies. Yesterday he disemboweled a completely helpless cantaloupe! He has also had about a billion cheerios – the tool of the trade when coaxing a pig up and down ramps, or in and out of crates. He spends his days roaming my yard, eating spring and summer shoots and finding good spots to nap. He spends his nights in my dining room, on a bed of sleeping bags and blankies.

Pig In The Foliage

Lola's Indignation

The only one not pleased with this new situation? Lola. They don’t get to meet properly for 30 days (Herman just got his first vaccinations and Lola might catch something). At first, Lola was excited and stood at the fence staring through at Herman in pig-high-alert mode, all of her hair on end. Now, she is just pissed. Herman is roaming the entire yard, eating all the shoots, getting lots of snacks, getting tons of attention and cuddles, and she is on a diet! The injustice…the look on her face says, “Can you believe this bullsh*%!?” Herman doesn’t seem to notice Lola very much, he is more interested in the kitties and follows them around whenever he sees them, but soon, he and Lola shall meet and pig love will bloom! I hope. . .

We have all come to expect greatness from VICE. After all these years, they never disappoint - VICE still delivers absolute amazingness.

FULL BLEED: New York Skateboard Photography from VICE Books was created by Andre Razo, Ivory Serra, and our dear friend Alex Corporan (honorary mayor of NYC, as far as we are concerned). Featuring the work of Spike Jonze, Giovanni Reda, Ed Templeton, Thomas Campbell and many more, the book is a gorgeous visual journey through NYC skateboarding and makes us remember why skateboarding inspired such passion in us in the first place. FULL BLEED is the first-ever comprehensive overview of New York's skate history, bringing together legendary skaters and iconic photographers.

Spanning 30 years and featuring the contributions of over 60 photographers, FULL BLEED: New York City Skateboard Photography features: Steve Olson, Eric Koston, Keith Hufnagel, Harold Hunter, Jerry Hsu, Mike Vallely, Mark Gonzales, Rick Howard, Jason Dill, and more.

Available in August at Amazon.com and select retailers across the US, you can see more at: powerHouse Books

Wicked Quick has just released some feisty new tanks and tees for women from their basics line. Offerings include tanks, V-necks and U-necks in tasty colors, and are available to you on their website HERE.

Styles shown below are the Aqua V-neck, the Neon Pink tank and the Neon Yellow U-neck, all done in Wicked Quick's signature softer-than-butter crinkle wash that flatters your form perfectly. Other colors include Neon Salmon and Dark Charcoal. Snap up a complete bouquet for yourself and your friends! Yum, yum. . .

To get 15% off, enter Discount Code: neon2010
Free shipping on purchases over $50!

FORM Athletics announced recently the addition of UFC Middleweight Mark Muñoz , "The Filipino Wrecking Machine," to their team! After the biggest win of his career at UFC 112 where Muñoz displayed his vicious ground 'n pound and took out competitor Kendall Grove, Muñoz returned to California where he was inducted into the California State Wrestling Hall of Fame. Known for constant evolution, Muñoz is versed in wrestling, Muay Thai, and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

Born in Yokouska, Japan in 1978, Muñoz was raised in Vallejo, CA. Mark was always athletic and gravitated towards the healthy aspects of sports; his early influences were his father, faith, football and his coaches. Muñoz found his inspiration in wrestling and pursued his passion with diligence.

Committed to health, Muñoz majored in Health Promotion at Oklahoma State University, where he was a four-year starter on the legendary Oklahoma State wrestling team. Mark compiled 121 wins, and was a two-time All-American and 2001 NCAA champion for Oklahoma State at the 197 pound division.

Muñoz found himself fascinated by and drawn to MMA. He went on to coach in California, where he met WEC star Urijah Faber and instantly recognized a like-minded positive attitude, drive and determination. Muñoz began training with his signature dedication and got his big break on June 1, 2008 when he fought in his first WEC match (WEC 46) and went on to a string of wins, bringing his total MMA record to 8-1.

Congratulations to both Mark and to FORM Athletics!

A decade of couch? It cannot be so! That's right, the Zumiez Couch Tour is embarking on its 10th annual tour starting May 29th in Puyallup, WA and moving east, to wrap in St. Paul, MN on July 1st. Hitting 12 cities in all, the tour is always a damn good time, so get out there to enjoy skate demos, music, swag, and the fine folks at Zumiez. Admission is FREE!

Skateboarding pros on the tour include: Chris Cole, Jake Duncombe, Erik Ellington, Cairo Foster, David Gonzalez, Jerry Hsu, Terry Kennedy, Kevin Spanky Long, Billy Marks, Mike Mo Capaldi, Chad Muska, Leo Romero, Daewon Song, Ed Templeton, Jamie Thomas, Nick Trapasso, Stevie Williams, and many more.

Live music performances by bands including Bayside, The Bled, Dance Gavin Dance, Hawthorne Heights, Hit The Lights, In Fear & Faith, Just Surrender, Jamie Lynn’s Kandi Coded, and The Maine on the Skullcandy stage.

Skate demos and skate team autograph signings from Fallen, Zero, DGK, Lakai, Almost, Volcom, Enjoi, RVCA, KR3W and Toy Machine. Prizes & giveaways from tour partners Chipotle Mexican Grill, Fuel TV, Glamour Kills, Keep A Breast, Matador by Jack Link’s, New Era, Skullcandy, Transworld SKATEboarding, and Vestal. Even an interactive festival area, enough good times to sink a ship!

New to this year’s tour is the Zumiez Couch Tour app, a free download from Apple's app store. From the app, users can watch each of the 12 stops live on their iPhone or iPod touch through an expanded appcast and webcast that will be streamed live on www.zumiezcouchtour.com.

More info on locations, dates and the sheer awesomeness...go to www.zumiezcouchtour.com.

I've come across several rad Star Wars references in the past few days and couldn't help but crow for joy over them (thank you, Cory Doctorow from Boing Boing, as usual, for being a purveyor of endless amusement). I share them with you now.

Check out this backyard kiddie jungle gym by Gym-Dandy, billed as the "Scout Walker Command Tower with Speeder Bike Ride." It even came with a 4-sound electronic console for when you're up in the tower, all busy imagining stomping on hapless victims!

Scout Walker Command Tower with Speeder Bike Ride

Swedish artist Mattias Adolfosson has done this wondrous series of pieces envisioning what Star Wars would have looked like in the 17th century.

Baroque Star Wars art from artist Mattias Adolfosson

Bonnie Burton's new "The Star Wars Craft Book" is coming out on September 28, 2010. In it, she includes how to make your very own Admiral Ackbar paper bag puppet. Sweet!

Your very own Admiral Ackbar.

So, we see our fair share of hipsters AND hippies biking and strolling around Portland, and this infographic from Boing Boing had me shaking with laughter.

Evolution at its finest:

No doubt exists in the minds of friends and associates that I am a true and unabashed geek. I once had a full sized cardboard cut-out of Spock, I own the complete V series (the original 80's one), and the newer Battlestar Galactica series is without compare.

The question remains: How the heck does the The Bradford Exchange know that I'm a geek? Over the last few months, I've received several mailers and each one is increasingly WTF?! amazing. Each large glossy fold out brochure features limited edition pieces, such as Star Trek characters carefully sculpted. Again, how did I get on this mailing list? I don't know, but I sure am thankful.

Yesterday, after a long day at the office, I arrived home to find the most stunning mailer yet. A Timeless Quest for Power Cuckoo Clock!! It's a fricken dragon, people, a dragon! The pendulum has two swinging "blades," and there is a small sculpted dragon that emerges from the carved door each hour and ROARS! I can't get over this, it is so awesome.

If I'm on your holiday list, this is what I want.

Oh, Regretsy.com, thank you for finding the most ridiculous and hilarious items proffered on Etsy.com for us to guffaw over!

This fine nipple tassel kit from Cheesecake Burlesque features icon Hello Kitty combined with some good old USA-flag-waving fervor -- if you need a set with a larger diameter, you can special order them from the seller!

I have long dreamed of being a pirate. Out on the open sea, free from the laws of man, pillaging gold doubloons and treasure, hanging out with Johnny Depp...

Today I am one step closer to my dreams of piracy. I was walking around outside of our office and came across a little domesticated bird. He hopped up on my shoulder and has been hanging out in the milk milk office ever since.

As chance would have it, I'm even wearing my big pirate ship earrings today!

Clearly, it is meant to be.

ARRRRRR!!!

I've got to hand it to the AMA Supercross series this year. I was more or less a desultory fan last year, but even though both Chad Reed and James Stewart were injured early on this season and I didn't get to see Stewart's legendary leave-em-in-the-dust style in action, I've really enjoyed the series with great enthusiasm. I called it for rookie Ryan Dungey after the first race at Anaheim 1. He's rocking the #5, my personal lucky number, and an easy-going smile and polite and dedicated attitude and clean riding style I felt worthy of my support. When my dude picked the other Ryan -- Ryan Villapoto -- for the title, the home-front battle was also officially on.

So, it's been an exciting and heated campaign for domination between the two Ryans for the championship title. Much drama ensued both on the track and in my house. But my Ryan prevailed after Villapoto made a mistake in St. Louis and broke his leg, taking him out of the contest. (I should admit I was very saddened by this though, because he's also very likable and it was really fun watching them trade wins and go after one another. Bummer to see it end that way.) After Seattle's horrifically rutted, ugly track this past weekend, Ryan Dungey is now 77 points ahead and could elect not to show up to the last 3 races, although I should think the $100,000 bonus he gets whenever he takes 1st place is enough incentive to keep the momentum going. . .

Ryan Dungey now joins legendary Jeremy McGrath as the only other racer to win the AMA Supercross championship in his rookie year. Ever.

Congratulations, Ryan Dungey!

My Ryan is the Winner!

Our newest member of the milk milk crew, Leigh Feldman, was invited to participate in the Red Bull Thre3style event (international DJ competition) in Pittsburgh last week, and had the opportunity to hang out on the street with none other than DJ Jazzy Jeff.

Red Bull Thre3style Jazzy Jeff Interview from leigh feldman on Vimeo.

A milk milk favorite (I mean it -- many hours and much love have been devoted by us to the insanely fantastic Battlestar Galactica series (2004 - 2009)), my mind is often infiltrated by random special moments that happened on BSG, and I still have questions that will never be answered. But that's okay. The show made me ponder socio-economic dilemmas and an endless number of "what ifs," while telling a badass tale of interstellar warfare and drama and the ridiculous antics of humans and Cylons alike. Sigh. It makes me wish I could go back, memory wiped clean, and start the ride all over again.

That being said, thanks to Katie King for re-creating the iconic Beastie Boys "Sabotage" video using clips from episodes of BSG for her shot-for-shot homage -- I can't imagine how long this took to do, but I sure like it!

(Oh, and if you want to see the original "Sabotage" video side by side to this one for comparison's sake, check it out here.)

This killer rap video between esteemed and controversial economists Friedrich von Hayek and John Maynard Keynes is informative, educational, and fun to watch. Learn key points about their economic theories and the business cycle. . .while getting your head bob on.

Great work by John Papola and Russ Roberts (thanks to their project, econstories.tv).

Hayek and Keynes duke it out:

Our milk milk mascot, Lola the pot-bellied pig, had an epic day on Saturday when our friend Ray came by with a bag full of Zuppan's organic fruits and vegetables with which to befriend her.

Ray is Lola's new bestest friend.

Apparently, she didn't even lunge and attempt to swallow Ray's entire hand during the feeding frenzy (something she tends to do when she sees Auntie Sunny -- she is often a greedy thing). Thanks, Ray, for supplying her with such lovely yummies!

The Graping Maw:

Our friend Hibiki Miyazaki is an amazing artist. Only recently did we discover that her day job is equally interesting! What, pray tell, could be so fascinating? Hibiki’s day job is making gravestones! Yes - gravestones. (For the company
Oregon Memorials.). I have never seen gravestones with such detail.

Besides the process of making these gravestones, it is interesting to see how people want to be remembered and what mattered to them in life – as well as how other people choose to remember them. For one woman, apparently, she just looooved to vacuum.

Here are a few of Hibiki’s day job creations, as well as a link to her Flickr page where you can see her artwork.

Hibiki Miyazaki Flickr Page

One of Hibiki's etchings:

A few of the gravestones she's created:

The TwelveSouth BookBook case for MacBook is a cleverly designed thing of beauty and also provides your precious portable with protection from potential bruises when you're knocking about the world.

Each reinforced hardback book case is handmade and individual to you. Details like bookmark-like zipper pulls and unique distressing on the covers make it look that much more like a book -- and less like a computer -- and the case allows you to charge and use it while still safely ensconced within. I'm just imagining the oohs and aahs when the already impressive, fancy hardbound book is opened, revealing your shiny portable in all its glory. Mmmmmm . . .

FORM Athletics, recently launched by former WEC Champion Urijah Faber (a.k.a. The California Kid) and action sports powerhouse Mark Miller, is auctioning off autographed walk out Ts to benefit Haiti. These walk out Ts were designed in partnership with AMP and each one is signed by Urijah Faber's own hand.

You can get them in any size, go place your bid now!

Autographed Walk Out Shirt Auction #1

Autographed Walk Out Shirt Auction #2

Autographed Walk Out Shirt Auction #3

I frequent this sushi joint called Mio in SE Portland and there is one girl that works there - she is too adorable for words. She has amazing style and clued me in to adding a wedge of lemon to my plum wine (really does enhance the flavor, while cutting some of the sweet).

Her name is YO and she is having a photo exhibition called Kumako the Conquistador that opens this Friday. I will be there -- you should too!

Friday, Feb 5th
5-7pm
Acme Coffee Company
1431 SE 40th Ave.
Portland, OR 97214

OH. MY.

Thank you, Mr. Herman and Funny or Die, for absolutely making our day!

And just to add yummy icing to this hilarious dessert, check out what he says 1:45 into the clip . .that's right -- Pee Wee looooooves us! (Thanks, Shane, for catching the reference and sending it to us!)

We have officially gone nutbag, bat guano, insane here on Planet Earth.

Several articles that illustrate this point:

Merriam Webster Dictionary removed from southern California schools

Court rules that mass surveillance of Americans is immune from judicial review

The terms "nerd" and "geek" should be banned

Kids' TV hosts terrorism-stopped for "pew-pewing" with sparkly hair-dryers

Our friend Monihan shot us this link to the Uniform Project and it is pretty darn interesting. A woman has pledged to wear one dress for one year as an exercise in sustainable fashion -- she began the project in May 2009. Here’s how it works: She has 7 identical dresses, one for each day of the week. Every day she reinvents the dress with layers and accessories, the majority of which are vintage, hand-made, or hand-me-down goodies.

The Uniform Project is also a year-long fundraiser for the Ankasha Foundation, a grassroots movement that is revolutionizing education in India. At the end of the year, all contributions will go toward Akanksha’s School Project to fund uniforms and other educational expenses for children living in Indian slums.

The Uniform Project has already raised over $52,000! Not bad, eh?

So awesome....groups of five or more kids and their grownups can sleep over at London's Natural History Museum once a month. Better than a fort made out of chairs and sheets, for sure.

Check it out on Boing Boing

Standing at the checkout counter, you are ready to swipe your bank debit card for a purchase and the clerk asks if you prefer credit or debit and you think "Uh, what the heck is the difference? The money is coming out of my account either way." Well, as it turns out, there IS a difference. One more way that credit card companies get you. We all know that retailers pay a percentage of a sale every time a credit card is used, but what is the story with debit cards?

In the 1980s, retailers did not pay a percentage of sales to banks when customers paid with a debit card, as a matter of fact they sometimes received kick-backs from banks because it saved the banks money on processing paper checks. As time went on, debit cards became more popular and are now poised to overtake cash purchases by 2012. Each purchase has the potential to make Visa and your bank more money, with their hands in our pockets.

Read this interesting article in the NY Times, it breaks down the various fees and explains who makes what on each transaction. Yes, it looks like they are actually getting the businesses, but at the end of the day, that cost hits the consumer through higher prices. From interchange fees alone, each family pays an estimated $427 a year factored into the prices of everything from gas to groceries.

The short answer is that the banks (especially Visa) make less money if you punch in your pin code, versus the signature method. Who knows how long this will last and what shady fees will be instituted next, but that is how it stands today. Cash is still king, but if you don't carry green, at least opt for debit and punch in your pin. The bank-sters have taken enough already.

NY Times Credit and Debit Cards Article

Enjoying the first days of 2010, we came upon this awesome list from National Geographic of the Top 10 Dinosaur and Fossil finds of 2009. Included are such wonders as a yard-long trilobite and a mini T. Rex!

Nothing as joyous as getting a box of swag on a random weekday...here is our friend Josh, enjoying his new HUF goods.

"I got the package of HUF gear and, as you can see from the photo, I got so stoked that my hat shot off my head. There are few better ways to wind down a hard day's work than taping shish kabab skewers together and propping a hat on them just above your head, so it looks like it blew off in a burst of excitement. However, this is the closest, admittedly staged, visual representation of that excitement.

Thank you, Josh Brooks
ESPN Skateboarding"

These wonderful video-game-meets-low-tech gifts are the kind of things that make us love Etsy!

Pacman Ring Series

Controller Ornaments

Anybody out there wondering what to get me for the holidays? Well, this is what I want!

Charity Buzz is auctioning off a private tour of Griffith Observatory with Leonard Nimoy! The tour is for two people and the current high bid is $5,250.

The proceeds will go to the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice and Human Rights - and you will go to heaven for making my dreams come true...sigh...

In the thread about Warmouse's unauthorized and many-buttoned OpenOffice mouse, Don Simpson points to ProHance's illustrious original, the PowerMouse 100, which features no fewer than 40 buttons! It requires DOS 2.0. [AtariMagazines] ProHance Technologies in Sunnyvale, CA also made 3-, 12-, and 17-button mice.

Makes you appreciate two buttons and a scroll a whole lot more, eh?

No longer do you need to put your name on your lunch bag in the office fridge, thanks to Anti-Theft sandwich bags!

This is not real mold on a sandwich. Rather, it's an anti-theft device for your lunch. The sandwich bags are printed with green splotches to give the illusion of mold to anyone nosing around in your brown bag. They're available from in a box of 25 for $10.

Anti-Theft Lunch Bags

For those on two wheels, check out the BDK (Bicycle Defense Kit), offering options for dealing with aggressive motorists. Contained within an altoids tin, the 8 tools vary in detectability, potential to cause damage, and legality.

Specifically, cyclists can:
• Issue "citizen citations" with official-ish tickets.
• Label offending vehicles with an "I was a jerk to a cyclist" sticker.
• Introduce the risk of paint damage with a Jolly Rancher.
• Create certain coating cremation via DOT3 brake fluid.
• Make cars stink worse than their exhaust with a carefully-placed stink bomb.
• Throw a trusty bolt to dent offending traffic as it passes.
• Lock out loony drivers by filling their keyholes with super glue.
• Cut through tire valve stems with a utility blade.

Bicycle Defense Kit for $19.90 at: http://bdk.dirtnail.com

Is it wrong to want to hug an octopus? As sushi, they are just too chewy. But as friends...they could hug you with all 8 arms!

Check out this awesome video of an octopus pretending to be seaweed:

In the face of continued layoffs, a bit of dark comedy and irony is in order. A copy editor at the Toronto Star greeted the news that union copy editor jobs were being eliminated in favor of freelancers by heavily editing the publisher's memo announcing same, pointing out all the ways in which the publisher could benefit from editorial aid.

Enjoy.

While the battle rages on about foreigners taking our jobs, these goats are taking gardening jobs right out from under us! But seriously...take a look at this: brush-clearing goats! That’s right, rather than spending tons of money and time on diesel-powered machines, filing the proper permits, and administering dangerous herbicides, the Seattle-based Rent-a-Ruminant organization will loan your a team of 100 goats for all your brush-clearing needs—all at a very modest rates.

As Serious Eats explains, the benefits of goats are numerous: they eat just about anything, they can work on uneven ground, you don’t need permits to use them, and they can clear a quarter-acre in about three days. What’s more, they—ahem—naturally fertilize wherever they go. And of course, they make delicious cheese. In short: better for the environment, the community, and your budget.

Hillside BEFORE the ruminants get to work:

Hillside AFTER the dedicated ruminant snack-fest:

I am SO getting this for my nephew...solidify his geek-dom young. Available at ThinkGeek.com, they even have a redshirt version (for expendable babies!).

Much better than the orange cones that litter Portland (we've never seen so much road work - outta hand) are these hilarious candy corn traffic cones in DC, courtesy of artist Diabetik.

Happy Halloween!!

Check out the HUF for Nike Blazer SB Premium SE! Capturing the energy and simplicity of the 50s – a time capsule inspired by the birth of skateboarding and classic American fashion. Greasers, white v-necks, raw jeans with a 5 inch cuff, and hotrods all serve as inspiration for this vulcanized canvas shoe with a classic silhouette.

Available November 7th exclusively at HUF, colors available are black and natural.

This collection is rounded out by a jacket, cap and T, also in classic Americana style.

Eight years ago, police investigating the robbery of a 71-year-old Tasmian woman found a leech at the home. They took a blood sample from the leech and now have used DNA gleaned from the sample to convict Peter Alec Cannon of the crime. He has since admitted guilt.

From the BBC News:

Wikimedia Commons image

When police came to investigate the robbery, officers found a leech near the safe, and the resulting DNA sample was recorded in the Tasmania Police DNA offender database.

Cannon would probably have got away with the crime had he not been charged with drug offences late last year, and asked to give a DNA sample - which matched that from the crime scene.

Did you know that some of the best hardwood can be found underwater? When people built hydrodams and created lakes in valleys to get quick, cheap power, they flooded the trees and essentially forgot about them. There are about 300 million trees underwater, all of them lying still in a deep freeze, inert because the lack of air prevents them from sequestering carbon.

A small underwater logging industry has ensued, but no company has taken it as far as Triton Logging of Vancouver, BC. Instead of sending human divers underwater, Triton built a giant yellow submarine called the Sawfish — a 5,500-pound unmanned logging device capable of finding, chopping, and floating trees.

Guided by sonar, video cameras, and GPS, the Sawfish dives down under the surface and finds forests to harvest. Once it finds the tree, the Sawfish grabs onto the bark with its grapples, which are like giant arms. It inserts a rolled up airbag that bolts onto the tree. Compressed air inflates the airbag. The saw on the Sawfish then cuts the trunk just below the airbag and stays there as the usable part of the tree shoots up to the surface. Then it moves on to the next one. When the airbags surface, a boat corals the floating trees and pulls them over to a barge area, where they are then transferred to a tugboat that takes them to shore for processing.

"By putting these trees on the market, we potentially displace land-based logging," Hayhurst of Triton Logging says.

Now THIS is the kind of technology we should invest in - seriously, one of the coolest things i've seen in ages. As an Oregonian, I am accustomed to driving around a bend, only to see a clear cut field, littered with stumps. It breaks my heart every time. So thank you Canada for my favorite new fish - the Sawfish. You can't make sushi out of him, but he still rocks.

Thanks to Lisa Katayama at boingboing.net for posting this awesome story.

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/10/14/the-sawfish.html

While socialites and richies of our time grab for haughty fashion labels and cool tech-ccessories, things were a smidgen different back in the 1800s.

Check out this vampire killing kit from the 19th century. Deanna of Collector's Quest wrote "These are expensive kits, made for the wealthy; not some cheap and cheesy plastic novelty items. Such luxury concedes a seriousness -- a deadly seriousness. These items were made to address deep, dark, primal fears. And then, like our fears often are, they were not thrown away but stored in equally dark and out of the way places... Antique wooden killing kits in the attics of old houses, just waiting for the day when the creatures creep from the attics of our minds."

Why, these beauties are enough to make a gothic kid dance with joy! Ok, not exactly joy (smiling and laughing - not so big in the goth world) and the "dancing" might be a bit more of the shadow dancing/shoe gazing variety, but you get the idea.

Hmm...this makes me miss my 10 hole oxblood Doc Martens something fierce...

Librarians and guerilla rebellion aren't exactly commonly thought of as bedfellows, but our public libraries are under siege - both from lack of funds and big brother trying to peep into our lives.

Cory Doctorow over at boingboing.net just ran into a Norwegian librarian at Internet Librarian International in London wearing this killer tee-shirt, created in protest of the PATRIOT Act's provision to force librarians to reveal which books their patrons were checking out. The Latin translates as "We know what you read, and we're not saying."

The news came yesterday that a good friend, Eric Stricker, passed away. The cause is unknown. The news is a shock.

I met Eric in the late ‘90s. He was at Strength Magazine and we instantly clicked. He was funny, silly, unpretentious, and made interesting observations. He had the unassuming personality of a Midwesterner (or a Canadian).

Over the years his career flourished, with a move to Transworld Skateboarding. He made his mark and did great things for the mag. But more importantly to his friends – he never lost the quality that made him a great person.

The bro can be brutal. There is lots of bullsh#* and fakeness, orange tans, upgraded body parts, and the most irritating of LA/OC games – I see you, but I won’t walk up to you first. Stricker never subscribed to that, he knew that was crap and he knew what mattered.

A couple of years ago, after I’d been back in Oregon for awhile, Stricker and I had a good long catch up call. One of those deep - how is your life, how the world – calls (of course, interspersed with banter about bad style, bad bands, etc). We talked about the best part of the skateboarding industry and the real friends we’d made – and how we both felt lucky to have met each other along that road.

I count myself lucky to have known Eric. He made my days better. I always looked forward to talking with him and seeing him at tradeshows. And I guess my last memory will be of a random talk in Vegas about Hawaiian shirts with him and his lovely wife.

Eric made the world a better and friendlier and more real place. You will be missed, my friend. My heart goes out to his wife.

Ok, anybody who knows me also knows that I can’t stand Kanye. While Gold Digger is one of my all-time favorite dance jams, a good half (or more) of each Kanye album is purely throw-away trash, his rhymes are weak sauce and the man has absolutely no grasp on the english language. More over, his absurd self involved ego-maniacal rants and claims of being 1: “the voice of a generation” and 2: “persecuted” in some way for being black – what is this freak smoking?! Is he snorting pixie sticks? Huffing computer cleaner? Or perhaps simply intoxicated on the noxious fumes of his huge flaming ego.

Well, this time, he really has gone too far. As usual, Kanye thinks in terms of black & white and is completely devoid of couth. The other night, in the middle of the MTV Video Music Awards, a young Taylor Swift was in the middle of accepting an award for Best Female Video for “You Belong With Me.” A mere couple sentences into her acceptance speech – a momentous occasion in her life – Kanye rushed the stage, interrupted her, usurped the spotlight, and had the audacity to talk about Beyonce making “one of the best videos of all time.” He might as well have walked on stage, bitch slapped Taylor and called her a honky.

Kanye, taking this moment from a young girl, a moment that can never be replaced, as you peddle your recycled 80s glasses and claim people are taking something away from you…do us all a favor, take your millions and your oh-so-tortured-nobody-gets-me-cause-I’m-a-genius crap and go the hell away. Kanye – you are not only a gay fish, you are a little bitch.

Kanye West Has Truly Lost It This Time

By Dinah Sheehan, MFA candidate

This video came out at the beginning of the summer, and it has pretty much become my reason for rolling out of bed every afternoon. In a world of health care crises, corporate bailouts, the Gosselin divorce, global warming, and American Idol, it is comforting to know that some things are steadfast. Rock solid. Immutable.

The hotness of Zachary Quinto getting doused in milk while pretentious indietronica plays in the background is one of those things.

Tyler Shields, a photographer from Los Angeles, put out this “video portrait” of Mr. Quinto just after Star Trek came out. No one is sure quite what is happening here, or why Mr. Quinto looks so pissed off about it. Presumably, Mr. Shields didn’t just run up to him and start spraying him with milk like some sort of live-action surprise bukakke hentai extravaganza. Yet he seems to be angry.

Just yesterday, Mr. Shields released this video, a follow-up to the previous innuendo-fest:

Again, I’m not sure why he is so mad about it, or why Tyler Shields is sitting on his porch in the middle of the night, eating cereal. All I know is that Mr. Quinto is hot, and that’s good enough for me.

Countless others have been saying this, but as a child, visits to my grandparents' house always included the family gathering around the CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite, parents and grandparents primed with fresh cups of coffee and slices of coffee cake. I was still young when he retired and Dan Rather took his place ("Seems like a nice young man, but he's no Cronkite" was pretty much the sentiment for at least a decade in that house. Luckily for Dan, he finally won them over.).

These pivotal clips are as much a part of our history as the events themselves. Thanks to the Huffington Post for so conveniently gathering them together for me to poach and post here.

Reporting on the JFK assassination in 1963:

Reporting on the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. in 1968:

Cronkite remembering his moving and influential 1968 Tet Offensive editorial:

And that's the way it is.

It's true, dear friends, you can catch the opening of the Aaron James Draplin Art Show tomorrow night at Office PDX on Alberta. Celebrate the man, the legend, the designer -- hanging his work on the walls for you (yes, you!) to enjoy. And buy. So don't be stingy. Bring yer checkbook, piles of cash, bags of gold coins, etc.

And in celebration, Draplin compiles Pretty Much Everything Up To May 27th, 2009 in the midst of a swirling storm of Gary the Dachshund that I will most certainly secure a print of:

As Draplin so eloquently states...
SERIOUSLY, MAN: Stuff up on a wall. Things you don't need. Meet the parents. Get barked at by the World's Smartest Dachshund. Stock up on Field Notes. Have a drink. Talk some shit. Make friends. Celebrate vectors. Get orange. Hug someone. Hug Cory Grove. Fair prices. Loose talk. Network with other creative people. Something for everyone. Surprise. Portland's greatest selection of cool office supplies. All ages. No cover. Small parts. Easy instructions.

Wed May 27 | ART OPENING | Featuring AARON DRAPLIN
05/27/2009 - 06/20/2009
Join us for the international debut of artwork and art-related goods created by none other than internationally award-winning graphic designer, AARON JAMES DRAPLIN. Draplin graduated from the prestigious Minneapolis College of Art and Design, interned for design legend Charles S. Anderson then become “Art Director of the Year” for his work for Snowboarder magazine. He then started Draplin Design Company, which features company mascot, Gary, on select items. Draplin's art show for OFFICE PDX will incorporate Draplin's love of ephemera and typography for a one-of-a-kind show — along with a slew of custom gocco prints. Some special art type goods will be free with purchase of DRAPLIN ART. Stay tuned.

Sat May 30 | TRUNK SHOW: Field Notes and Paper Goods by Draplin Design Company
05/30/2009
Join us from 12 TO 3 PM on Saturday for a trunk show off all new product from Draplin, known for his Field Notes notebooks. You'll have the opportunity to buy all new product from Draplin including shirts, combs, pens, pencils and lots and lots of Field Notes (and other cool new product). At the trunk show, you'll get to meet Draplin, see his portfolio, make-readies, sketches and ask any questions about running a design studio - or just general advice and friendship. A once in a lifetime opportunity to get behind the scenes for a man who has recently done graphic design for none other than Obama.

I'm not one to complain when a visit to our good friend Jason's workspace gets canceled and replaced by a dinner party, which in turn gets canceled and replaced by a birthday party at the Twenty Four - Seven Cabin!

We made the drive up to Mt Hood on Friday afternoon to find the beautiful Mule Deer Cabin waiting for us. Yes, I did indeed eat at Calamity Jane's on the way. And yes, dear reader, I did indeed finish my enormous burger.

Like any good party, it started tame -- a potluck dinner with good company -- and ended with the birthday boy wearing the fur rug...

Happy Birthday, Jason!

Mule Deer Cabin

Great Room

Guest Starring Katie

Moustache Love

Calamity Jane's Hamburger Parlour

The history of my hair is a tale of love and loss, of loving from near and loving from far. More accurately put, my hair is either short or long. There was a period in my life where I got one haircut a year -- and that was a buzz on the number one setting.

For the last six months, I've been keeping it buzzed at about that length. But I was recently thumbing through photos and found one of my golden locks at shoulder length and my heart started hurting -- so I decided, for my own personal well-being, to grow a luxurious mane again.

This decision conveniently coincided with an introduction to Mada - the new line of original hair care products from Portland's own Thad Grace. Outside of rediscovering the art of parting my hair (first time since junior high!), I've been using the whole Mada range (gasp!) of products tailored to my hair.

And (shhhh, don't tell) I like it.

Beyond the fact that the shampoo is a spray and when I used the dual daily conditioner I actually said, out loud, in the shower, by myself, "I think this is wetter than water," I've now gone through two weekly cycles of the Reset Spray Shampoo.

Hitting the Reset Button on your hair gives it just what it needs so that it keeps responding to your everyday shampoo the way it should. I like to think of it as a weekend for your hair -- you rest, recoup, and wake on Monday morning ready for the week ahead.

It's true, it's true!

The important info first -- check out the contact page for our new address. The milk milk phone contacts are all still the same, and email too, which apparently isn't linked to your physical address. What a strange world we live in.

Our building seems to have tons of secrets (and hopefully a sordid past!) that I can't wait to fully explore. Here are three examples of why the new digs are cooler than your grandpappy's attic:

1. I found an old stack of posters advertising a casting call for Gus Van Sant's Paranoid Park - apparently this is where he found his high school kids for the movie.
2. There is a vault in the basement, complete with a combination lock in the door.
3. In said basement, I saw a bunch of kids in uniforms -- apparently there's some sort of school / day program down there.

But it calls into question - is the vault there to lock the children in? or are the children there so I have something to lock in the vault? Either way, I know what I'll be doing when my eyes get too buggy from my monitor.

Also, dear Fedex delivery guy, our address does in fact exist. So next time look for the building that has our address on it, ok? The numbers and letters are like a foot tall, and there's only four buildings on the block. C'mon.

In closing, I just made a trip to the restroom (in which there is tremendous light and a wonderful mirror), and I must say -- I look especially handsome today.

I LOVE the Rebuilding Center in Portland...it is my happy place and I visit there often, with my trusty tape measure and a list of the many spots in my house that could use a good revamp.

The Rebuilding Center is doing something awfully cool for their 11th anniversary, hosting the ReFind Furniture ReUse Exhibition! To get more info and to enter, go to: http://www.rebuildingcenter.org/reuse.html

Dino is my best bud and (incidentally) a stegosaurus. He likes cheerios.

Meet Dino from Benjamin Bearclaw on Vimeo.

""DINO IS A DELIGHT!" - Peter Travers, Rolling Stone" raves David Drori

Looking for inexpensive entertainment in this rough economy? Well, I
bet you never thought you'd get something this cool for free!

Come to PNCA this Wednesday for an intimate evening (no, not THAT
intimate...ya perv) with the legendary David Yow. The event is free
of charge and sure to inspire.

See you there!

Wednesday, April 8 at 6pm
PNCA
1241 NW Johnson St.
Portland, OR 97209

Artist Logan Hicks can always be depended upon for being straight up and not a total donkey... enjoy his most recent newsletter and check out Logan Hicks / Broken Crow - New York show - May 1st, 2009

Dark Days / Bright Nights

The summer is nearly upon us and I am finally ready to emerge from my winter cocoon.

The past few months I have been mulling over what the future holds and contemplating the state of this art world. My conclusion? I need to do more and listen less. Fuck all the nonsense about how 'urban art' (whatever the fuck that is) is losing it's appeal. Know what I think? Art is art. You can define it ever how you want. You can slap whatever labels on it you want and you can talk about subgenres of art til your dick gets hard, but at the end of the day, art is just art. Good art will flourish and bad art will fade away. Darwin was right. Only the strong survive.

I am glad we are going through this recession. Don't get me wrong, I do miss the easy sales and the bank account with an extra zero, but the art world needed this. Too many people were making a living off of art that shouldn't be. Many saw Banksy selling pieces for $200,000 and thought 'i can do that' - and for a while they did!It became formulaic. It went something like this:

- Draw up a character that is cute (or edgy). If you can't draw, think of clever sayings that make people think you are rebellious and insightful. Then juxtapoz them against stencils made from photos you didn't take.
- Rush out to the street to wheatpaste, spraypaint, or stencil said character (or sayings) in a couple dozen spots. Repeat this for several weeks.
- Have gallery show, sit back, and cash in on the current wave of 'urban art'.

People were scooping up artwork like a fat kid at a cake buffet. When it's easy, everybody is an artist, but It's the hard times that define a person, not the easy times.

So here I sit at the crossroads. Do I wait this thing out til prices rise again? Or do I move forward and act like things are the same? Who knows. What I do know is that the more I analyze the 'state of the economy', the less time I have to focus on my artwork. At the end of the day none of it matters. The talking heads will continue to analyze and drone on. The artists will continue to create. Being overly analytical of your industry only handicaps your ability to create freely. So I say fuck it, let's do a show.

I am proud to announce BROKENHORSE:

Brokenhorse
Broken Crow / Logan Hicks show in New York City May 1st

The past few months I have been talking more with my friend John Grider from Broken Crow.

I met John a few years back. I had the good fortune to paint with him in Melbourne, Australia during the stencil festival and again at the Cans Festival in London

John called me up and asked if I'd be interested in doing this show in New York. I have been living in New York for the past 2 years and I have never really done a proper show in here. I have done a few live painting events, but nothing formal. So I figured what the hell. Lets do it.

We secured the location of a former Hamilton Savings and Loan Bank. There are tons of terrible puns we could make, like "it's art you can bank on", but I digress.

This show will open the evening of May 1st and will remain open May 2nd and May 3rd. Then it will fade into obscurity, so come early and see the offerings. I invite all of you to attend this show. I am very excited about the chance to show what I have been doing the past year.

For the official press release, click here

milk milk recently switched banks. The biggest draw of this transition had less to do with money management and much more to do with the opportunity to acquire free LaMarcus Aldridge bobble-heads.

Thanks, Wells Fargo, for hours of fun.

Bobble from Benjamin Bearclaw on Vimeo.

Free coffee is good coffee. But for once, good coffee is free!

Forget five dollar subs and bottomless pancakes -- we live in Portland. Stumptown is giving away 8oz cups of french press on Mondays from 9am-10am. Any Stumptown location, all Stumptown locations. Even the Seattle ones, which I can prove thanks to Katie who frequents their new(ish) spot on 12th and Madison:

And of course this cup with a 'tude reminds me that I've been meaning to buy this shirt from Print Liberation:

If you're in the Bay Area this Thursday, February 26th, you should wend your way over and hang with milk milk at the Scion Beatbox Experimental Instrumental Hip Hop Funk Essential. Or, as it is known in-house, the Scion audio-visual art show showcasing bitchin' Boom-Box sculptures.

But, for serious, this event features the revolutionary artwork of King of Bike Customization, Toons One. And you are gonna want to get an eyeful and earful of this, we promise.

Oh, and don't forget, you have to RSVP!! Ben will be especially glad to give you tailored directions to the venue via public transportation.

For anyone who has been the recipient of one of our famous milk milk business cards, you've already had a taste of the visual goodness that is Aaron Draplin, design master who we greatly, greatly heart.

Check out his site, www.draplindustries.com, read his daily blog, glory in the entries about Gary, and just bathe yourself in the singular steez of this hardworking, down-to-earth-in-the-most-genuine-way American-grown fella.

Don't forget to check out the merch store, where you can find many a yummy treat for your everyday needs.

ALSO, be sure to treat yourself to the handiness of the Field Notes line of products, which in their own words, are:

"INSPIRED BY the vanishing subgenre of agricultural memo books, ornate pocket ledgers and the simple, unassuming beauty of a well-crafted grocery list, the Draplin Design Company, Portland, Oregon in conjunction with Coudal Partners of Chicago, Illinois bring you “FIELD NOTES” in hopes of offering, “An honest memo book, worth fillin’ up with GOOD INFORMATION.”

Thanks for going to lunch with us today, Draplin! And for the care packages of cool stuff!

Ever have one of those days when things seem to be falling into
place? When you sense that things are coming together, despite all of
the usual “uh…really?” absurd daily occurrences? It is one of those
days!

In addition to coming up on the entire collection of V the Miniseries
(thank you Lily) and having a rad boyfriend that just custom built a
terabyte-large server for milk milk (a.k.a. ServeBot), I just won $48
in the lottery! That’s right – I’m rolling in cash!

Maybe I’ll buy a new car, or a summer home with my winnings. Or maybe
I’ll treat myself to some plastic surgery - go for that Meg Ryan fish-
lips look. After all, I’m turning 36 on Friday.

OK, maybe this cash windfall won’t pay for the economic stimulus
package, but still – I believe it illustrates that things are going
in the right direction. And that gambling DOES pay.

Windfall of cash

V the Miniseries!

February 20th from 6:00 pm to 8:00 pm at the Active Ride Shop in Rancho Cucamonga in CA, Mike V. will be signing copies of skatebook Book 4 (first 200 people get a copy of the limited edition book!).

I found these rad vintage stamps at Village Merchants on Division - how could I say no to that scuba diver? I couldn't, he would have been crushed by my disapproval well before the decibars crumpled his helmet (and subsequently his puny human skull). Coupled with some leftover holiday gift boxes (19 cents a piece clearance at the wondrous Arvey Paper), I was making Friends in no time.

Meet Fancy Friends - never again be lonely or sad. Fancy Friends' mission is to make you (yes, YOU!) feel lighter, happier, loved and generally pleased with life and such.

Available exclusively at Ben's desk.

Cut and Paste is a design tournament - a live “battle” between designers of all different disciplines. Showcasing and bringing together the design community, there are 3 different categories of the competition: 2D, 3D/Industrial Design, and Motion Graphics.

Cut&Paste Digital Design Tournament 2007 from Cut&Paste on Vimeo.

Enter now at:
www.cutandpaste.com

Deadline for entry:
Friday, January 23rd

Test rounds:
January 24 – 25th (includes pizza, plus beverages courtesy of New Deal Vodka and CRUNK!!!)

Cut and Paste Portland takes place March 7th at the Portland Art Museum.

Prizes include:
Wacom Cintiq 12WX, Autodesk Softimage, Maya Complete, 3ds Max, Pantone Goe System cube (coated), ColorMunki Design, ColorMunki Create, Wacom Intuos 9X12 tablet, Autodesk Mudbox, Wacom Intuos 9X12 tablet, Pina Zangaro portfolios and more.

MORE ABOUT CUT & PASTE:
The event takes place in a number of cities worldwide (Tokyo, Berlin, Barcelona, Milan, Sydney, + more) and draws some amazing talent. It is similar to a concert setting, where the crowd is involved, and is watching each Designer perform. At the end of the time limit, a panel of judges decides the winner.

The Portland event takes place March 7th at the Portland Art Museum, with select judges from brands and agencies, including: Nike, Twenty Four Seven, Fashionbuddha, Second Story, Portland Mercury, Nemo Design, Topaz Design, Draplin Design Co., The David Maddocks Company, and adidas.

FORMAT/RULES:
8 competitors will be selected for each competition. Competition rounds are as follows: 2D consists of two (2) rounds, fifteen (15) minutes each. 3D consists of two (2) rounds, twenty (20) minutes each. Motion: One round, eight hours in duration (length of the entire event, piece to be created on-site).

- Competitors are provided with themes for each round, one week in advance

- Competitors may bring in approved objects to capture with a digital camera (as well as fonts, etc)

- All approved objects are available for anyone to use during any round

- No finished artwork, photographs, pre-made digital elements – all work must be constructed from scratch

- Tools including digital cameras or the Wacom Cintiq are for the designers’ benefit but not required to be used during competition.

A COMPLETE LIST of rules & prizes available for:

2D Competition

3D/Industrial Competition

Motion Graphics Competition

I will not be working out more often. I will not be eating right. I will not be quitting bad habits or starting good ones.

Instead of trying to make a U-turn, I'm closing my eyes and stepping on the gas pedal. Instead of trying to run backwards up a muddy hill, I'm putting my weight into a slide and letting my momentum build as I pick up speed.

I am going to GO GO GO and I am going to Make Stuff and I am going to take more photographs and write more characters and draw grander pictures using many more stick people than usual. I will write more songs and I will sing longer, though I won't sing louder, and most of all I will ride my bike much faster than my legs would have ever allowed in 2008.

And when I make my Top Ramen, or Smak Ramen, or Maruchan Ramen, watch me drop an egg in it and slurp those noodles with flair.

Our old friend Randy Laybourne escaped his adopted land of the USA, returning home to the great white north – land of maple syrup, “eh,” and much comparison to America in Michael Moore’s Bowling for Columbine. Oh, Canada.

We love Canada. The people are generally an affable bunch. Fun to drink beer with and are always happy to see you. Yay, Canada!

Well, Randy could not resist the lure of his old hood for too long, he is (lucky for us) hosting an art show on January 17th in Oceanside, CA. Randy’s art is fun…it makes me happy. I mean, you don’t see a ton of creatures that have multiple eyeballs and big toothy overbites, yet are strangely cute and endearing.

If you haven’t seen Randy’s art before, check it out here.

If you are in BroCal, check out his show on January 17th or join the Zine workshop on January 25th with Randy, Dustin Koop, John Antoski, Mike Carter and others.

From Sydney. 2009. Fireworks make me happy.

Well, it's that season. Of course you're expecting milk milk to send you stockings and gingerbread houses through the USPS. But I've got bad news -- I was at the post office yesterday and the lines are just too long. You're not worth the wait.

So I tried emailing eggnog lattes from Starbizzle, but they got stuck in the google tubez and fried my motherboard. I guess I should have gone with fat-free.

Instead, we made a special holiday card. It features our beautiful office manager Lola pulling a holiday sleigh with the help of a couple gorgeous holiday reindeer. Lola has a red holiday nose, and the harnesses have special holiday bells that sound like children laughing.

As for holiday slogans, before we finally settled on "This holiday season, pigs can fly," we spent a good hour banging our heads against the wall helping creativity fall out.

Check out some of the other contenders.

A take on a great movie:

Hammin' it up:

My personal favorite was born in a fit of frustration:

Merry Holidays, friends.

I have an abnormal love of tools. I get geeked out when I get new tools, like the day I got my bolt cutters and ran around trying to cut everything I could get my paws on! Well, when I saw this...SLAVER! Truly beautiful. The maker (Studley) was an 1800s organ and piano maker, as well as a carpenter and mason, who worked for the Smith Organ Co. He built this amazing tool-chest. Studley Toolchest, ideal for the inventor or scientist.

Never has a Jewish geek like myself had such a wonderful combo. Meet the Droidel, Starwars.com's print-and-fold papercraft R2D2-themed dreidel. Gemacht bin ich fon awesome!

Super massive in-love obsession: Erica Weiner jewelry. I think what I love the absolute most about her work is the use of old things in such a thoughtful manner. Erica integrates all manner of pieces, from animal bits (metal plated vertebrae, porcupine quills), to memorabilia (tintype pictures) in a modern fashion, with a smidgen of industrial/primitive thrown in. Such a sexy stew of style! She also brings back forgotten classic refinements, such as shoe clips.

Check her wares out at:
Erica Weiner

A friend of milk milk shot us this YouTube video and I can't stop watching it! Perhaps it is the frightening similarity to that horrid 1980s Whitesnake video "Here I Go Again" with Tawny "batsh#@ crazy" Kitaen, writhing all over the hood of a car. Or maybe it's the absurd lyrics, or maybe it's the puppets! All I know is that I can't stop singing it, like some serious metal ballad. Hey, I guess anything is better than "Every Rose Has Its Thorn," right?

milk milkwill be closed Nov 4th in observation of the election. Election Day is not a national holiday, but this is history and I plan on being glued to the television all day, biting my nails and screaming at the screen (as if the people in that magic little box can hear me).

I’ve often appeared the cynic and sometimes felt like Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption – warning “Hope is a dangerous thing”...especially after the 2000 and 2004 elections, with all of their shenanigans, chicanery and ballyhoo. But I am truly inspired by the 2008 election.

At long last my generation is getting involved, informed, passionate and creative.

So seize the day, get out there and VOTE!

And soak up all of the awesome rocking art associated with my generation and our undying obsession with pop culture.

A true American, Benjamin Bearclaw prepares for his upcoming mission.

This state-of-the-art jetpack will help stabilize Ben when he's on the surface of the moon.

The milk milk astronaut program and its flagship rocket ship. Note the sleek outline -- no pesky and cumbersome protective pod for us!

Movember (the month formerly known as November) is a moustache growing charity event held during November each year that raises funds and awareness for men's health.

From Movember.com:

"At the start of Movember guys register with a clean shaven face. The Movember participants, known as Mo Bros, then have the remainder of the month to grow and groom their Mo (Australian slang for moustache), raising money and awareness along the way for men's health and the fight against prostate cancer.

Movember culminates at the end of the month at the Gala Partés. These glamorous and groomed events will see Tom Selleck, Hulk Hogan and Borat look-a-likes battle it out for their chance to take home the prestigious Man of Movember title.

While growing a Mo is left to the guys, Mo Sistas (women who support their guys or just love Mo's!) form an important part of Movember by recruiting Mo Bros, helping to raise funds and attending the highly anticipated Gala Partés.

But it's not all fun and games, so why the extreme behavior?

Whichever way we look at it, men are far less healthy than women. The average life expectancy for men is many years less than that of women; seven years less for African American men and five years less for Caucasian men.

The obvious question is why?

Men lack awareness about the very real health issues they face. Many feel they have to be tough - "a real man" - and are reluctant to see a doctor about an illness or to go for regular medical check ups.

The aim of Movember is to change these attitudes and make men's health fun by putting the Mo back on the face of American men while raising some serious funds for the number one men's health issue, prostate cancer.

Prostate cancer is the most common non-skin cancer in the US with one in six American men developing the disease and more than 28,000 men dying of the disease every year.

Movember is very proud to be teaming with the Prostate Cancer Foundation in the US.

All donations made will go directly to the Prostate Cancer Foundation, which will use the funds for high-impact research to find better treatments and a cure for prostate cancer. The Prostate Cancer Foundation is a 501(c)(3) organization. All donations are tax-deductible to the extent permitted by law.

We challenge you to change the face of men's health."

Nearly two years ago, a friend sent me a URL. No description, no title, just a URL. I clicked it, waited for a video to buffer, and found myself captivated by the band Grizzly Bear performing The Knife a cappella while walking the streets of Paris. It was raw and it was intimate and I was absolutely captivated.

This was one video of a handful called The Take-Away Shows -- a video podcast from La Blogotheque.

They say it best:

"Every week, we invite an artist or a band to play in the streets, in a bar, a park, or even in a flat or in an elevator, and we film the whole session. Of course, what makes the beauty of it is all the little incidents, hesitations, and crazy stuff happening unexpectingly. Besides, we do not edit the videos so they look perfectly flawless, instead we keep the raw sound of the surroundings. Our goal is to try and capture instants, film the music just like it happens, without preparation, without tricks. Spontaneity is the keyword."

Since leafing through that handful of artists featured back in 2006, I'd forgotten The Take-Away Shows was floating around. But last week I found it again, and was stunned to find that the handful of gems has turned into hundreds of videos. While I was playing the same records again and again every day, La Blogotheque was catching a personal moment with a different musician each week.

Get ready to lose yourself for hours. Go explore their archives. Find Swedish artist Jose Gonzalez singing his soft melodies over his nylon string guitar on the back of a pickup truck driving around a tiny Texas town. Find John Vanderslice strumming and singing while walking around my old neighborhood in Seattle. Find The Arcade Fire packed into a freight elevator before a show in Paris, ripping paper for percussion.

The heavy hand of the Law-sons!

So, per Benjamin Bearclaw, we have implemented Party Mondays. As you may have extrapolated from the name, these festive events occur on Mondays. There are really no specific guidelines to it -- it's more a theory that Mondays ought not to be dreaded or dreary, and in fact can be fun as heck.

This is what happens when a Party Monday collides full force with the splendor of Halloween:

The great thing is that Ben wore these nifty duds ALL day long. He did have to cut the left eyehole a second time, as his nose was pushing his mask upwards, which made said eyehole insufficient for full vision capability until he made the proper adjustment. . .

I think he wants to wear this outfit every day. And rightly so, BB, rightly so!

more animals

MGMT "The Youth"

This is so amazing on so many levels, I don't even know where to begin...the music, sequins, impressively deadpan kids, bizarre dance moves, glitter. WATCH IT.

There are no words for Brandon Bird, save for what the...



I can't imagine what it would be like to meet him. I would drink coffee while he would draw a picture of me bare-knuckle boxing Abe Lincoln on a napkin, refereed by Edward Norton. Of course, the audience waving wads of cash in the background would be made up of the entire cast of Law & Order: SVU.


Don't ask. Just LOOK.

For those of you who don't feel inclined to look at every painting here (not me, I can't stop...) these are some real gems:

King of the Cage
Signifier and Signified
The Death of Jennifer Sisko
Bad Day on the High Sea
and, of course...
Killing Machine

So, um. . . .perhaps you may have heard. . .The time has come. A great reckoning is upon us. Swing states are key. Become an Action Jackson! To those of you with any influence on our eligible-to-vote-Jewish-fellows-in-arms in Florida, I say, "Please to be heeding the Sarah Silverman!"

1800: Spain secretly presented France the modest gift of Louisiana, France ripped open the box then sighed, "oh."

1890: Yosemite National Park born, man rejoices

1964: The Free Speech Movement launched at UC Berkeley

1971: Walt Disney World opened

2008: Ben woke up and put on his Ninja Turtle costume because, hey, it's October, gotta make sure it still fits.

At last, I have entered the new millennium and gotten on the RSS feed boat. boing boing is entirely too dangerous, there is simply so much that I cannot resist exploring. How can you possibly deny the wonders of a Nagel art Princess Leia? Or e-bay auctioning off a plaster cast of Lobster Boy’s hand? The time suckage is overwhelming and I will not allow myself to look at it every day.

But then there is ICanHazCheeseburger…it never ceases to amuse me and I MUST see it every fricken day. Recently I discovered that you can make your own LOLs, so here I share with you some milk milk LOLs.

Adolf. New employee, attempting to usurp Ben’s position (and desk).

Pom. A.K.A. Pomegranate Jones, Short Pants, Jake and the Fat Man, Stubbs, Orange Chubby.

One of the many yard squirrels that taunt Adolf & Pom constantly.

The other day I got a chance to take that sick In4mation/Brixton Castor out for a test run.

There are secrets that nobody has told you about this straw wonder. Things you aren't supposed to know. I'm not going to lie to you - it's not going to make you run faster. It will not make you jump higher. But it will make you summertime ice cube chilly chill just in time for the onset of autumn. And if my one night on the town in this beaut' is any show of it's magical abilities, it will make people like you. It will make you Party Central, it will make you King of the Jukebox, it will even make you better at pool than your girlfriend - but not your girlfriend's dad because he took billiards classes in college. People danced, people cheered. Gravity was so distracted it forgot to hold us down. It. Changed. My. Life.

After all, it's not a hat. It's a party. On your head.

When I arrived at the milk milk HQ the other day, the clouds parted and bathed me in sun. I looked up and bluebirds were smiling. Somewhere in the distance there was a fanfare of trumpets.

It's true -- this was my first day with the milk milk family.

So hello, greetings, you look nice today. I'm Ben Sellon. I want to meet you. But since I'm on this end of the blog, I guess you're just going to have to meet me instead. So I hereby present to you:

MEET BEN (a definitive guide)

I am:
Bikes bikes bikes. Quiet time. Play dates. Mind maps. The Clubhouse. Pilot G2 Minis. Craft brewing. Writing everyday. Different sized notebooks of varying rule. Meetings. Self publishing weekly. Science experiments / general research. Bad art -- appreciating/creating. CASUAL COLLABORATION.

One time I had this idea:
To release on VHS--Vatican Blooper Reel!

Most vividly remembered nightmare from my childhood:
I was kidnapped and brought to a secret castle. The foyer was made out of colorful construction paper. Vampires lived inside. They took me inside, and in spite of my fear I didn't close my eyes--I looked at everything around me. We passed a series of bathroom-stall-type things, only without toilets, and inside each one was some innocent kid shackled to the wall. They put me in one of the stalls, and then took my left shoe. THEY TOOK MY LEFT SHOE!!!

Two colors:
Light blue and red.

Some ingredients:
Water, flour, yeast, a little bit of love.

Interesting physical traits:
Scar on right hand, birthmark on right thigh, patented family bump in nose, ever-thickening facial hair, strangely squishy mole on back, line of scars from bike chain ring on left ankle, awkwardly lanky arms.

This was a pet I had once:
Spud

ASR is always chock-full of back-slapping, heartfelt-man-hugging, beer-swilling, crummy-band-playing skate and surf gatherings, and more often than not I find myself doing more of a cursory lap at these events before gleefully fleeing the soul-sucking convention center for much-needed fresh air.

That being said, I fully admit that last week’s 35th Anniversary party for famed Santa Cruz Skateboards was especially notable for its turnout, energy, and its impressive roster of legendary pro skaters and artists. Okay, so maybe it was even cooler cuz so many people from every possible walk of the skate industry politely lined up to buy gobs of prints and books and decks, then lined up again, waiting for up to 2 hours to shyly proffer up their memoribilia to these greats – these mavericks – who were gathered there (Thank you, NHS!).

Some of the people gracing the autograph tables that day:

Jim and Jimbo Phillips
Natas Kaupas
Jason Jessee
Steve Alba
Duane Peters
Rob Roskopp
Jeff Kendall
Bod Boyle
Eric Dressen
Richard Novak

I should have taken more pictures.

Rich Novak and Jim Phillips, Sr.

Unfortunate things that happened:

1. I got there late. My bad.
2. They ran out of the Santa Cruz 5-ply reissue deck that would have looked fantastic on my wall, especially if it was covered with lovely, personalized autographs.
3. The autograph line, which appeared to be moving relatively merrily along when I got into it clutching my favorite Jason Jessee Neptune print and 2 Jim Phillips art compilation books, seemed to forget lines are meant to go somewhere, and little progress was made for an hour and a half. Sigh.
4. And by the time it was my turn to fan out, the panel was not quite as robustly filled out as it was earlier on in the evening. As in, I did not get Jason Jessee to sign that print, argh. (Although Jim Phillips, one of the nicest guys ever, and the creator of that graphic, did me right.)

BUT, I do have a killer flick of Natas and Bod, where Bod may or may not be shamelessly throwing a righteous shaka directly at me, which I may or may not have captured with digital precision on my trusty elph. . . although out of great respect and affection for Bod and his immediate, hilarious chagrin am I inserting a more standard-issue pic here.

(Reenactment of shaka throw-down)


Surf’s up, Bod.

First-time ASR exhibitor In4mation was in full effect last week. Thanks to everyone who came by!!!
Ryan, Mihaly, Todd, Brittain, Swift

Jessica and Ryan and juicy new In4mation/G-shock collab color






Greetings from Ms. Raena, Ms. Elska and Ms. Jenny C.

Rhandy!!!!





Jessica is a sales machine

Jun Jo. For serious.

The gents behind Univ and Robust Flavor are offering up this tee that elicited this remark from me when I first saw it: Do you have it in women's sizes? Sadly, ladies, the answer is currently no, but I've moved past my disappointment to focus on how awesome I think this graphic is, and so, I say to you, vote for this tee!

Having one of those days? Did you just see/read/hear something that makes you question the sanity of humanity? Feeling sorry for yourself or for someone else?

Piney has something just for you (really, the applications here are pretty varied):

Click here and push play!

In4mation has got all the spring/summer 2009 goods to share with the world at the upcoming Magic/S.L.A.T.E. show in Vegas as well as the ASR/GoldBox show in San Diego!

Magic/S.L.A.T.E. - August 25 - 27th
Las Vegas Convention Center
Booth #20719

ASR/GoldBox - September 4 - 6th
San Diego Convention Center
Booth #G3-G4

We had a discussion here at milk milk earlier today about our personal opinions and if they should be a part of our business blog. What will we lose and whom might we alienate if we speak as bluntly online about our beliefs as we do to each other? The talk turned to our belief that NOT being personal, fence-sitting, this is what is wrong with the state of politics and public relations (which are eerily similar). Think about it…a politician can talk for hours, until you are brain-numb and want to smack him/her for not actually saying anything. It almost always becomes verbal dancing, semantics arguments, and no fricken meat in the sandwich! I say…bring back the meat! Or tofu, if that is your preference. Some substance, please!

We are opinionated people here at milk milk, it’s just the way we are…so enjoy our unsolicited schpiels with our political and social leanings proudly displayed…

And thus it begins…by this time, most everyone has seen McCain’s hemming and hawing response (or lack thereof) to the question of health insurance companies covering Viagra, but not covering birth control pills.

I think we can all agree that this health insurance policy is utterly asinine. The policy is nothing short of archaic. This particular topic of health insurance not covering birth control pills has always been a bone of contention for me, long before the onset of Viagra (which has made the glaring stupidity even more apparent). The reason is simple and has nothing to do with any “my body, my choice” argument. There are simply too many unwanted pregnancies and insurance covers abortion, but not birth control?! It is nothing short of twisted. And on top of this, they sponsor boner jams ’03…VIAGRA!

Check out this interesting footage put together by the fine folks at Planned Parenthood. It’s kind of amazing how little the public knows about where our current president and the candidates stand on women’s rights.
Planned Parenthood

Oi! It's our wee Tim's birthday! Joyous celebrations must commence immediately! (Although, considering he didn't have to work today, we must assume that they perhaps commenced as early as yesterday. . .?)

We weren't sure if you had time to check your horoscope yet, especially as the weather is so balmy and full of glorious sunshine this fine day, so here's one we found (swear it's legit, got it off the internet and all):

"You are incredibly lucky this year."

Hm, just how we like our horoscopes. Short. Sweet.

Also, one ought to remember that on this day in 1866, Tennessee became the first Confederate state to be readmitted to the Union. And in 2005, Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France for the SEVENTH time, just to show the world what a real superhero looks like. And in 1847, Brigham Young and his peoples arrived in the Great Salt Lake Valley. And in 1974, the Supreme Court unanimously ruled that President Nixon had to turn over subpoenaed White House tape recordings to the Watergate special prosecutor guy.

So, Tim, in light of this momentous day, we lift our glasses to you with a flourish. . .just hope you don't mind sharing our happy birthday wishes with your famous celebrity mates Lynda Carter, Jennifer Lopez, Simon Bolivar, Gus Van Sant, and all-American family fave Gallagher, who all had the audacity to muscle in on your special day!

Hee hee. Gallagher. . . .

Man, I love teal…and I love lines, the feel of the buzzers on the side of your head. With the Nicacelly Remix Bishop Turtleneck, so many of my loves have been merged into one magical piece! You’ve got teal, you’ve got some Big Daddy Kane lines being cut in the side of your head. But just like an infomercial, wait, there’s more! Contrary to all reason, it can get even better…in signature Nicacelly style, max it out with Thai fabric accents, hints of asymmetry and some extra color pop of hot pink. Mmm…delicious mad steez. www.nicacelly.com

I think I’m in love. Dirty Librarian Chains are beyond hot, especially the Card Catalog Version 1 necklace. It’s like fashionista meets Mr. T! And anybody who knows me well also knows that one of my personal goals has always been to own a genuine Mr. T chain, so this really is the ultimate necklace for me. The Card Catalog Version 1 necklace has launched my new obsession with metal tassels…
www.dirtylibrarianchains.com

Do you love pilgrims? Do you love Indians? Way back in the day, when Thanksgiving began, pilgrims and Indians were friends. In4mation pays homage to the original heart of Thanksgiving, before slaughter and small pox ensued. Check out the Bramley tweed zip off pinafore skirt (meow) and Runkel sweater. Both have subtle accents of traditional tribal patterns, the Runkel sweater also featuring arrowhead accents. Mmm…all the foxiness of Thanksgiving, without the tryptophan.
www.in4mants.com

Sort of happy Pez colors…I love this colorway (called Candy) of the Roped scarf from DeNada. Now, we all know everybody is all scarf crazy these days, but most people are wearing the same ones in the same way (like that weird keffiyeh trend…right up there with fixies). This DeNada scarf is such a different silhouette, with separate pieces and the pass through loop. Totally different take on things and super uber crazy soft (rub it all over your body, for an extra special good time).
www.denadadesign.com

I guess Iron & Wine could best be described as “new folk.” Tones of Nick Drake and Elliot Smith…basically, damn good singer songwriter music. I first saw Iron & Wine a few years back at SXSW in Austin, thanks to my good friend Marina. When sick of current music, I’ve often fallen back on folk and singer-songwriter music, having been weaned on Joni Mitchell and Bob Dylan. I’m rarely inspired by today’s breed of folk and singer-songwriters, as it often goes down the wrong path into bland, preachy, or self-indulgent dreg. A few exceptions to this rule are Patti Griffin, Jonatha Brooke, and Iron & Wine.

Sam Beam (singer of Iron & Wine) has a way of lulling you, while his subtlety and softness also has intensity. Iron & Wine possesses that rare understated intense emotion that very few bands can pull off. Radiohead. Some Mazzy Star. Beck’s Sea Change album. The music that crawls in and you feel it from inside out.

At first listen, Iron & Wine could be easily taken as too mellow or possibly bland, but then you catch undertones of racier lyrics, intertwined with sweetness. “We’ll meet again. And f*#@ the man.” While previous albums took awhile to pull me in, their newest album The Shepherd’s Dog grabbed me right away. A little catchier with a slightly faster pace, undertones of Americana, and all the wonderful twang of a banjo. Banjo rules.

The Long-Awaited Tim Breault Self–Interview (sometimes referred to as TLATBSI)
By Tim Breault

Ok, I’m a guy who appreciated reading a good interview. I like to know where people are from, what they do for fun, why they are worthy of an interview in the first place, etc. Seeing how I spend a majority of my days writing bios for other people, and it is a distinct possibility that I will never achieve anything in my life that is worthy of someone else writing a bio about me, I figured I’d try this route out. Without further adieux…

Tim: Where do you hail from? You know, where are your roots?
Tim: Agh…good question. While I’ve lived a place or two in my life, I definitely still consider Rhode Island my home. And not Providence, or some fancy joint by the beach, but Burrillville. Northwest corner of the state, borders Massachusetts and Connecticut. Pretty rural by RI standards. It’s a nice little town. My folks still reside there, and I have no complaints whatsoever about growing up there. I also spent a good chunk of time in Vermont. I went to college at a tiny school called Johnson State College. Looking back, I have no idea how I survived in that small town for four years. Once again, no regrets, but…it certainly was an odd college experience to say the least. After Johnson, I moved to Burlington, VT, which was actually quite nice. Pretty collegey, and really, really whitebread, but nice nonetheless. I enjoyed my time there. Wait…I’m rambling. In short form, Rhode Island is the answer.

T: And now? Where is home these days?
T: Portland, OR. PDX. Stumptown. The Rose City. Bridgetown. Puddlesburgh. And all the other various monikers that this place goes by. I really like it here. It feels pretty real. A little rough around the edges, but pretty polished in the center, like cheap jewelry. Hey…I like that. Portland…the cheap jewel of the west! Ha…if you print that I want $10. Or a beer. Possibly both depending on the hits your website gets. I rent a nice duplex in Southeast…I grill a lot. Bike commute. Holla at shorties. You know…the usual Portland activities.

T: Nice…we’ll keep you informed of copyright infringement that we notice. What do you do to keep yourself busy?
T: Well, I have a virtual cornucopia of employers at the moment…in-house and freelance gigs alike. They all fall under the umbrella of media services, I suppose. How about this…I’m a media services specialist? Maybe I’ll make some business cards or something. Maybe if you give me that $10 you owe me, I can get some printed. As far as summer leisure time, it breaks down like this: Sleeping too late, bike riding, river swimming, golfing, garage beers, walking around aimlessly, heavy metal, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Hamms, Coca-Cola, income fretting, golf, not driving, Party Time, pinball.

T: Any travel plans?
T: I am traveling back to the homeland (RI) in a week or so. Besides that, I’m joining the “staycation” club. This sucks…everything is so damn expensive these days. In other words, I’ll be right here if you need me.

T: How about professional goals?
T: Oh come on now…I thought this was going to be a fluff piece? You don’t really care do you?

T: Well…maybe not me. There is a possibility that someone else would want to know…
T: I suppose. Hmmm…perhaps riding this media services specialist wave into the new millennium. Or unless I find out a way to get paid by speaking in movie quotes, I’ll try that out. How about this gem here. “And if I find out you go near my locker, I swear to God I'll give you a karate chop right in the head!” Billy Brown said that in Buffalo 66. I haven’t been able to bust that one out in a while because I don’t have a locker. Maybe I’ll get one just to say that.

T: What are your thoughts on modern culture?
T: Geez dude. That’s kind of a vague question…no? Could you expand?

T: Well…in journalism school they taught me that when dealing with a particular difficult subject to interview to ask broad, open-ended questions to force them to open up a bit. So…no. No expansion.
T: I didn’t think I was being particularly close-lipped. But, if you insist…here goes. I’m not going to even mention all the screwed up things that go on these days…that’s for another interview on some negative-nancy site. This is all about being positive. I think that the advent of the internet and the creation of a “global community” is a pretty crazy thing to wrap your head around. Not too long ago we were all encyclopedias and hand-written letters. Bands had to make tapes and tour endlessly to get their name out. I’m not nay-saying technology here. I couldn’t imagine living without some of our newfound comforts, but, it’s an entirely different world and it’s both fascinating and scary at the same time. Ha…writing a blog about being weirded out by technology is such a magnificent contradiction. I love it. I was supposed to have a positive response to your question…but it didn’t really come out that way…sorry.

T: No…it’s fine. Being real is always better than trying to answer a question in a certain direction anyway. Ok…I think we’re done here. Any last words, shout outs, etc?
T: Ummm. Thanks to everyone that has helped me out along the way. Things have been great thus far, and I have a lot of people to thank for that. In the interest of time and internet-space usage, I’ll drop the catch all “you know who you are.” Thanks!

While other businesses spend time discussing ROI, the bottom line, and presentations, we at milk milk have an ongoing “what superpower do you want?” debate.

Sunny has long been a proponent of the time-turner, while teleportation has been my dream for many years. Time travel is wrought with problems…what about the butterfly effect? What if you run into yourself? Sunny sees it as an opportunity to explore other times and also get way more done….but I say, people would then have absurd expectations and you’d spend even more time working!

Yes, teleportation has its possible problems. If you can’t see where you are teleporting, you could end up in a block of cement. If you are Jeff Goldblum, you could end up a giant insect! And if you are Eric Stoltz, you could end up with a completely messed up dog…come on, you know you saw The Fly 2. Whatever happened to Daphne Zuniga anyway, after her Spaceballs and Melrose Place days?

Teleportation rocks for so many reasons. Imagine the possibilities.
-Never have to drive when you are tired or drunk
-Avoid airports and planes forever
-Pop over to Ireland for fish-n-chips and a pint of Guinness (it doesn’t travel well)
-Rob banks and return home, go somewhere that you’ll be on video and have a rock solid alibi

Of course, all of this speculation was thrown out the window when Hiro Nakamura of Heroes came on the scene. Hiro is able to teleport through both space & time. PLUS he can freeze time, which would be very useful.

I want to be Hiro Nakamura when I grow up.

Most people who have ever spent a significant amount of time in an office environment of any size realize the importance of an office manager. Need office supplies? Ask the office manager. Need to make some accounts receivable calls? Yup, that’s the office manager, too. Made up an excuse to not come to work? Call the office manager. Really, this person is in an intricate cog in the gears of the apparatus we call an office.

Our office is a bit different in many regards, but most of all because our office manager is a pig. Not the eats-too-much and lacks-any-real-commitment-to-personal-hygiene type of pig, but rather an actual pig of the pot-bellied variety. All in all, she is not a very productive employee, unless the order of the day includes rooting for plant bulbs or squealing and oinking at unnecessarily loud levels, but we love her nonetheless.

Here a few quick facts about Lola for the concerned public:

-She hates men with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns.
- While once morbidly obese, thanks to a diet of healthy pig pellets, hard boiled eggs and fresh vegetables, she has trimmed down so a svelte 152 lbs.
- Favorite activities include eating books, fenceposts, grass, and the occasional pig snacks.
- Loves posing for photos (such a ham).

That is the low-down on Lola the office manager. While it’s been a while since we’ve cut her a paycheck, she hasn’t seemed to notice. She never cashed the ones we gave her to start with, so we figured maybe she is a member of Americorp or the 4H Club, and is volunteering for college credits. We’re still not sure on that one.